2016 Academy Awards fallout

Photo courtesy AFP.

#Oscarssowhite dominates the ceremony

The Academy Awards are normally awful, but this year, they traded in the usual tedium for a three-hour apology for #oscarssowhite that managed to cast a pall over the entire ceremony. It’s easy to see why it was such a focus — for the second straight year, all 20 acting nominees were white and prominent black directors were snubbed — but playing “Fight the Power” over the end credits after seeing Academy president Cheryl Boone Isaacs all but get down on her knees and beg black viewers’ forgiveness was just a touch over the top.

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If Oscar nominated films were presidential candidates

Ex Machina — The Ted Cruz campaign

IMDB * Rotten Tomatoes * our review

Nominated for Best Original Screenplay (Alex Garland) and Best Visual Effects

Were not made in America. Aren’t entirely sure women aren’t sadistic, artificially intelligent sex toys waiting with growing impatience to rise up against the male species. One was crafted lovingly in Pinewood Studios in England and the other birthed in Calgary, both well north of the 49th Parallel. Will leave your jaw stapled to the floor after a relatively short amount of time, though for very, very different reasons. Feature Hispanic lead actors that deliver dynamic, bullying performances and weren’t born in the U.S.

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Risen proves evangelical movies are here to stay

Photos courtesy Columbia Pictures.

Isn’t this the movie the Coen brothers pretended to make in Hail, Caesar! two weeks ago?

Risen follows Clavius (Joseph Fiennes, the very spitting image of Michael Jackson), a Roman tribune, through the story of Jesus’ Resurrection. Clavius is charged by Pontius Pilate (Peter Firth) with keeping the peace in Judea for the emperor’s imminent arrival, but the Hebrews are revolting, thinking their messiah has come to deliver them from Roman rule. The purported messiah, called Yeshua (Cliff Curtis) in the movie, is crucified, but tensions mount even further when his corpse disappears from its tomb three days later. To quell the unrest, Clavius is tasked with hunting the body down.

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The Witch trades in thrills to deliver unbelievable chills

Photos courtesy A24.

No, it’s not the scariest movie ever made. It may, however, be the scariest movie ever made entirely about boobs.

Set in the 1600s a few decades before the Salem Witch Trials, The Witch follows a Puritan family banished from their plantation over William’s (Ralph Ineson) religious disagreements with the local government. William and his family — pregnant wife Katherine (Kate Dickie), daughter Thomasin (Anya Taylor-Joy), son Caleb (Harvey Scrimshaw) and twins Mercy (Ellie Grainger) and Jonas (Lucas Dawson) — move a day’s ride toward the forest and set up a farm. Several months later, Katherine has given birth and farm construction is underway. Tensions are high already as the family’s harvest is succumbing to rot, but things really start to go wrong when the newborn, Samuel, is abducted by the witch who lives in the woods.

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I’m only doing this because of the Oscar noms: The Danish Girl

Despite being awful, Redmayne is getting and was always going to get a ton of praise for this movie. This inevitable praise comes because playing gay or trans is still seen as a courageous thing for a cisgender actor to do, and that viewpoint exists because, deep down, this is still seen as self-debasement. There’s a lot of different ways this gets dressed up, but the fact is Hollywood hates LGBTs just as much as it hates women and minorities and in just the same ways, and this movie and others like it are born exclusively from this hatred. Photos courtesy Focus Features.

It’s the most cynical thing in the world. Former Oscar winners? Check. Based on a true story set in the early 1900s? Check. Gay* person that dies? Check.

The Danish Girl was set up to be one of the most insufferably pretentious movies ever made, but it is surprisingly tolerable, almost entirely because of Alicia Vikander.

The film tells the story of Einar Wegener (Eddie Redmayne), who became the first known person to undergo gender correction surgery in 1931 to become Lili Elbe**. Wegener and his wife, Gerda (Vikander), come up with Elbe as a joke when he dresses up as a woman for one of her portraits. From there, Wegener’s latent desire to become a woman takes hold, and the majority of the movie is spent focusing on his suffering through gender dysphoria, a condition that wouldn’t even be recognized until 1980, let alone studied, and the dissolution of his and Gerda’s marriage. Elbe — Lili Ilse Elvenes, her name was in real life — eventually underwent one of the first recorded gender transition surgeries, but died of organ rejection after the final surgery to implant a uterus.

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