Stewart flubs highly resistible new comedy

Images courtesy Focus Features.

3/10 In early 2020, a nightmare virus – highly contagious for up to two weeks before symptoms start to show and triggering an agonizing, potentially deadly pneumonia in a significant percentage of its victims – made its way to the Pacific Northwest. Despite several months advance warning as this virus overwhelmed Chinese and European hospitals and despite having been specifically trained on emergencies of this nature, President Donald Trump’s government spent months in denial, trying to avoid shutting the economy down because he thought it would increase his reelection chances. Despite knowing full well that the disease is on essentially a two-week delay, several decisions that were always seen as eventualities were made weeks, sometimes a full month too late, leading to dramatically inflated loss of life.

As of this Independence Day, an estimated 132,000 Americans have died of the virus out of an estimated 525,000 deaths worldwide. This means the U.S. has accounted for more than 25% of global deaths despite representing just over 4% of the total global population, and that ratio is only going to get worse as cases continue to spike in several states long after the rest of the world has gotten the virus under control. An estimated 70-99% of these deaths could have been prevented if Trump had simply taken the precautions that other countries had already proved effective.

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Cinemark Comeback Classics: movies worth dying for

It’s finally time! Today’s the day!

More than a dozen weeks after closing due to the COVID-19 pandemic, Cinemark theaters are going to start opening back up in the DFW Metroplex. COVID-19 is still around, of course, it’s actually worse than ever in DFW specifically, but who cares, right? 

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‘Trolls World Tour’ fine, but not for $20

Images courtesy Universal Pictures.

$20/10 Well I guess I should write something.

With the entire world under quarantine and theaters shuttered, most movies have been pulled from the release schedule. But one, Trolls World Tour, which I had particularly been looking forward to, stayed in line with its April release date, shifting to a streaming debut instead. It’s out now, and you too can stream it into your quarantined home.

For $20. You can do this for $20.

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Revisiting ‘Contagion’ in the age of coronavirus

Images courtesy Warner Bros. Pictures.

As the COVID-19 pandemic quietly spreads through the U.S. and the country very loudly grinds to a halt, movie theaters are one of many businesses that are shutting their doors. Amid news of delayed releases and entire theater chains closing, last weekend was the worst at the box office in 25 years, and no. 1 finisher Onward in particular suffered a second-weekend drop of more than 70%, which is almost unprecedented.

Americans didn’t go to the movies last week, and they won’t be returning for some time. But there is one movie that remains a communal experience right now, something people are watching in droves, is a nine-year-old horror movie directly related to the present crisis – Steven Soderbergh’s Contagion. 

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‘Onward’ made me very uncomfortable

Image courtesy Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures.

5/10 Every movie, to one degree or another, mirrors the world it releases into – that’s the whole concept behind this blog. Some, like Ad Astra, are such clear and urgent cries about the anxieties of their time the subtext is inescapable, and others, like The Hunt, are ripped in bad faith from the headlines.

In others, like Onward, the whole movie is so bland that the subtext is all you notice.

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