Applying Chaos Theory: ‘Justice League’ looks so, so bad

You do tend to start taking excellent special effects for granted these days until you see them done really, really badly. If you want to start appreciating technical achievements, you only need to watch the last Justice League trailer-

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‘Orient Express’ is awf- no, it’s not awful, I just didn’t enjoy it

Seriously, he went outside with this thing on his face. Images courtesy 20th Century Fox.

minus infinity/10 Murder on the Orient Express is a boring, dull, awful movie and I hated every minute of it.

That’s not fair. Let’s start over-

4/10 Murder on the Orient Express is a decent but forgettable movie with a lot of elements that annoy me personally, most of which revolve around producer/director/star Kenneth Branagh.

The movie follows Hercule Poirot (Branagh), a Belgian riff on Sherlock Holmes, through his most famous mystery — Poirot and 13 other people are taking the long train from Istanbul to Paris when one of them, Samuel Ratchett (Johnny Depp), is murdered. Poirot puts all his skills to the test to discover the killer.

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‘Thor: Ragnarok’ is a boring bait-and-switch, I am getting really tired of Marvel’s shit

4/10 Guys, go see Blade Runner 2049. This hurts me! We’ve had something bold and original and spectacular in theaters for a month now and it’s made just $82.9 million in the U.S.

It’s exactly the kind of movie that Marvel Studios is clearly no longer interested in making.

At the beginning of Thor: Ragnarok, Thor (Chris Hemsworth) and Loki (Tom Hiddleston) find their father, Odin (Anthony Hopkins) in self-imposed exile in Norway. Odin dies, and with his death, his long-imprisoned first-born daughter, Hela (Cate Blanchett) is freed. She casts Thor and Loki across the stars and lays claim their father’s throne. The brothers land on the junk planet of Sakaar, where they reunite with Bruce Banner (Mark Ruffalo), who has been in his hulk state for two years. Thor hatches a plan to return to Asgard and stop Ragnarok.

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The Möbius Strip: ‘Madea’ wins myopic weekend

Image courtesy Lionsgate.

Despite scoring just 7 percent on Rotten Tomatoes, Boo 2! A Madea Halloween led the weekend box office with $21.2 million. Geostorm was no. 2 with a dismal $13.7 million. No other film, including the three other new releases, topped $10 million. It was an incredibly weak showing for theaters in general, as the top 12 films combined for just $81.3 million, $30 million behind the same weekend last year- Box Office Mojo

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Director, studio knew ‘The Snowman’ was shockingly bad, released it anyway

The Snowman has a keen fetish for severing body parts, with the killer specifically preferring to replace them with snowmen. The film expresses the motif of segmentation often. Images courtesy Universal Pictures.

3/10 The tagline for The Snowman reads, “I gave you all the clues,” which is ironic, since director/executive producer Tomas Alfredson couldn’t give us all of the scenes.

In Oslo, Norway, detective Harry Hole (Michael Fassbender) — hahahaha, his name is Harry Hole! — shambles around the snowy city streets in a permanent alcoholic stupor. An ace detective despite his addiction, he tags along with new transfer Katrine Bratt (Rebecca Ferguson) on a missing persons report that turns out to be connected to a gruesome serial killer who targets single mothers and leaves snowmen at the scenes of his crimes.

Concurrent with the case, Hole deals with the complicated relationships with his ex-girlfriend Rakel Fauske (Charlotte Gainsbourg), her teenage son Oleg (Michael Yates) and her current boyfriend, Mathias Lund-Helgesen (Jonas Karlsson). Oleg doesn’t know who his biological father is, but looks up to Hole, who was dating Fauske during Oleg’s formative years.

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