-
Recent Posts
- ‘John Wick 4’ roars, soars to new heights of violence, coolness March 25, 2023
- I demand a new ‘John Wick’ movie every year until I die. March 22, 2023
- ‘Women Talking’ imagines what it wants, but not what it needs March 10, 2023
- ‘All Quiet’ adaptation fails in every way, but especially upward March 10, 2023
- Edgelord of ‘Babylon’ March 2, 2023
Archives
Meta
Tag Archives: Pirates of the Caribbean
How come I don’t get to see any of those 3D Na’vi titties?
That’s a wrap on 2022 cinema. Oscar nominations are out, and the associated limited releases have mostly wound their way through theaters. I’m still months behind schedule, but who cares. This year’s Christmas smash hit, Avatar: The Way of Water, … Continue reading
Posted in White Noise
Tagged 3D Na'vi titties, 3D Sex and Zen: Extreme Ecstasy, A special effect without a story is a very boring thing, Alicia Vikander, Avatar, Avatar: The Way of Water, Business in the front, butthole worms, CGI porn, Ex Machina, How come I don't get to see any of those 3D Na'vi titties, How come Jim, I did a bunch of acid and the tree and I are friends now, I suppose I could have just watched Ex Machina again instead of writing all this, I'm all out of salami and Gatorade over here, James Cameron, Keira Knightley, party in the back, Pirates of the Caribbean, Roe v Wade, T2: Judgment Day, Titanic
Leave a comment
‘Shut your brain down’ and still fail to enjoy ‘Uncharted’
1/10 Wow, they really miss Pirates of the Caribbean, huh? In Uncharted, Nate Drake (Tom Holland) tentatively teams up with Victor “Sully” Sullivan (Mark Wahlberg) to seek the lost treasure of the Magellan Expedition – apparently, there’s a legend that … Continue reading
Posted in Entropy
Tagged Black Panther, Mark Wahlberg, MCU, Pirates of the Caribbean, Play Station Productions, Sony, Tom Holland, Uncharted
Leave a comment
‘Jungle Cruise’ is a boring, homosexist dumpster fire
1/10 Jungle Cruise is a limp imitation of past Disney success that nobody seemed to know what to do with. 1917, as diseases that were responsible for a third of all military casualties in the Great War ravage the trenches- … Continue reading
Posted in Entropy
Tagged Disney, Dwayne Johnson, Emily Blunt, Indiana Jones, Jack Whitehall, Jesse Plemons, Jungle Cruise, Pirates of the Caribbean
Leave a comment
Reel Entropy 