The most important movies of 2015

Annual top 10 lists are stupid, lame and wrong. They’re easy to write, boring to read and represent everything wrong with modern film criticism. At this site, we aspire to track the progress of movies over time, so instead of simply list-bating out another drop in the ocean of top 10 lists, here we’re going to talk about the 10 most influential movies of the year and what their influence might be.

Image courtesy Universal Pictures.

1) Fifty Shades of Grey

In many ways, the year’s first major hit was pre-ordained. Based on a controversial best-seller, everyone knew it was going to be a smash hit, and everyone who had read or heard about the book knew it was also going to be biblically awful.

The novel’s first-draft feel and hilarious word choice was the butt of every joke for months leading up to the movie’s release, but many who took it more seriously than that took pains to illustrate how unhealthy the story’s central relationship is and how abusive a character Christian Grey (Jamie Dorman) is. For one reason or the other, most people wrote this movie off.

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Hateful Eight the most distinctly Tarantino movie yet

The Hateful Eight was initially conceived as a Django Unchained sequel titled Django in White Hell, until Tarantino realized the story works better without a moral center. That said, I still love the idea of Warren as a post-Civil War Django who has changed dramatically as a character. Django was really no angel in the first place. Photos courtesy the Weinstein Company.

The Hateful Eight is a double-edged sword. Everything to like about it is also something to dislike.

The film is a bottle movie, with eight — nine, including the carriage driver — strangers snowed into a lonely coffee shop a few years after the Civil War. The collection of questionable characters include John “The Hangman” Ruth (Kurt Russell), a bounty hunter who earned his moniker by refusing to kill his bounties, preferring to see them executed; his prisoner, Daisy Domergue (Jennifer Jason Leigh), whom he keeps handcuffed to him at all times; Marquis Warren (Samuel L. Jackson), a fellow bounty hunter who always kills his marks and bears a nasty reputation he earned fighting for the Union; Chris Mannix (Walton Goggins), sheriff-elect who earned a similarly nasty reputation for the Confederacy; Bob (Demián Bichir), who has been left in charge of the haberdashery by the owners; Oswaldo Mobray (Tim Roth), the territory’s actual hangman; Joe Gage (Michael Madsen), a cowboy writing his life story in the corner; and Sandy Smithers (Bruce Dern), a former Confederate general known for his cruelty to black Union soldiers. At least one of these people is obviously not who they say they are, and suspicion and paranoia take hold over all of them.

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Point Break rewards patience with potent second half, stunts

Photos courtesy Warner Bros. Motion Pictures.

The worst reviewed movie of 2015, bizarrely, is the most impressive of the year’s Christmas Day releases.

Point Break follows Johnny “Utah” Brigham, a provisional FBI agent and former motorcross star who retired after a close friend, Jeff (Max Theriot), died following his line. After a string of bizarrely athletic heists, Utah correctly surmises that the three perpetrators are poly-athletes committing robberies while also performing the Osaki 8, a series of eight extremely difficult athletic feats supposed to bring enlightenment to any who can perform them. Utah infiltrates the group off the coast of France performing the fourth feat, surfing massive waves created by a hurricane swell, and begins to descend into the cultish group’s worldview.

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Concu– CTE movie encourages brain health by putting viewers to sleep

A concussion is, essentially, a brain bruise caused by the organ smashing against the skull, causing damage that can last from weeks to years. Chronic traumatic encephalopathy is a long-term degenerative disease caused by decades of concussive and sub-concussive blows to the head. It was previously known as dementia pugilistica or punch-drunk syndrome, initially discovered in 1928, so Omalu really didn’t discover anything. This is important! Photos courtesy Columbia Pictures.

The new movie Concussion isn’t about concussions at all, but about the discovery of chronic traumatic encephalopathy, an entirely different brain disease. It is the opinion of this publication that misnaming the movie is a deceitful, underhanded attempt by the producers to attract more viewers, given that concussions are a much more talked-about injury. As such, for the duration of this review, the movie shall be referred to as Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy.

Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy starts with Pittsburgh Steelers legend “Iron” Mike Webster (David Morse), who won four Super Bowls with the team between 1975 and 1980, being inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame. He would die five years later a divorced, financially ruined, self-mutilating wreck. Pittsburgh Medical Examiner’s Office coroner Bennett Omalu (Will Smith), unsatisfied that a simple heart attack killed Webster, dug deeper into his death and discovered irregularities in his brain tissue. Over the next few years, Omalu discovers similar symptoms in several other NFL players who died young and reportedly experienced depression and dementia after retirement. Omalu goes on a crusade to get the NFL to acknowledge the new-found dangers of football. He gains allies along the way — his boss at the medical examiner’s office, Cyril Wecht (Albert Brooks), and former Steelers team doctor Julian Bailes (Alec Baldwin) — but also faces stiff competition from the league, which desires to keep his research under wraps. Omalu also meets a woman, Prema Mutiso (Gugu Mbatha-Raw), and gets married, but despite what the movie thinks, this aspect of his life is really unimportant to this story.

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Joy sunk by baffling editing

Editing in movies is a defensive job — if it’s done well, you don’t notice, but if you do notice, it’s because something went wrong, and something went very badly wrong with Joy. 

This scene is what makes the editing decisions in Joy so hard to pin the blame for. There simply has to be a better take of this delivery, but someone chose the one with the 30-second pause. Photos courtesy 20th Century Fox.

The movie is a biopic — it’s not a biopic, writer/director David O. Russell wanted to create a movie that was “half-fiction.” We’ll get into that later — The movie is a non-biopic about Joy Mangano (Jennifer Lawrence, Isabella Crovetti-Cramp in child scenes), the entrepreneur who invented the self-wringing Miracle Mop in 1992. She currently holds more than 100 patents and brings in more than $150 million per year for HSN, where she sells her wares personally. The movie goes through her invention of the mop and her difficulties selling it, from direct-response salesmen who couldn’t work the product to fraudulent manufacturers.

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