Ouija defies the Natural Order

Another striking thing about Ouija: Origin of Evil is its almost complete lack of a score. Nondiagetic sound is what most jump scare movies use to telegraph their scares, but this movie maintains the same eerie silence from start to finish. Images courtesy Universal Pictures.

Ever since The Conjuring blew the lid off the horror genre by opening to $41 million in July 2013, studios have been devoting most of their scary movie resources into Blockbuster season. October, traditionally horror’s time to shine, has become something of a middle ground between early Oscar season and a dump months for processed horror sequels that weren’t good enough for a prime spot. With the options clearly being bottom of the barrel and so much out-of-theater competition for spooky entertainment, scary movies have seen a sharp decline in quality and audience satisfaction in recent years.

This is the climate Ouija: Origin of Evil is born into. The original movie released in October 2014 was hated by critics and audiences alike, but it turned its $5 million budget into quite a bit of money. Dollar signs speak much louder than critic scores, so another sequel nobody wanted to a movie nobody liked was in order.

But Ouija: Origin of Evil has one key difference from the standard October faire: it’s actually really, really good.

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Applying Chaos Theory: Mope Mope Power Rangers!

I have as soft a spot as any ’90s kid for Power Rangers and I’ve been walking on air since I heard they were getting a Darker and Grittier reboot, but this first trailer is, well, tragic.

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Open Bar Review — The Girl on the Train

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Stop what you’re doing and go see Shin Godzilla

Image courtesy Toho.

Shin Godzilla is a monumental achievement in filmmaking. It’s a gleefully atypical disaster film. It’s an inspiring vision of the human spirit.

More than anything else, though, it’s Japanese.

Manmade and natural disasters

On March 11, 2011, Japan was struck by a magnitude 9 earthquake that originated 43 miles off the coastline. It was the fourth most powerful earthquake in the world since the modern recording system began in 1900. The earthquake physically shifted the Earth’s axis by 4-to-10 inches and permanently shoved Japan’s main island, Honshu, eight feet to the east. It triggered walls of water 133 feet high that traveled six miles inland. The disaster left 4.4 million households without electricity and 1.5 million without water. Almost 16,000 people died, and that’s just what’s officially confirmed.

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Accountant movie made for dummies, tries to convince you autism is a superpower

As hated as he has been, Ben Affleck was a great choice. He’s always been great at not putting any layered meaning into his lines or making facial expressions or showing emotion of any kind. Photos courtesy Warner Bros. Pictures.

We’ve already had one movie this year where Ben Affleck throws an autistic tantrum, and it was one too many. Now it’s two too many.

The Accountant tells the story of the title character (Ben Affleck) and how awesome and amazing and cool he is even though he has autism. The accountant is a contractor who uses his wicked autistic math skills to perform internal audits for international criminals — and a ninja, who can kill anyone who comes after him! In the movie, he’s auditing a boring, not criminal Chicago-based tech company after a saucy young accountant of their own, Dana Cummings (Anna Kendrick), discovers some inconsistencies. But we know he does audits for criminals, too, because treasury agent Raymond King (J.K. Simmons) tells us so. He’s looking for the accountant, but can’t find him because, despite his autism, the accountant is a super-badass who uses all sorts of fake names based on famous mathematicians!

Hey, did you know Lewis Carroll may have had autism? Autism!

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