Cannes champ ‘The Square’ a mass-appealing delight

The Square’s publicity imagery is based completely around this isolated scene, in which Oleg (Planet of the Apes franchise veteran Terry Notary) imitates an ape and attacks the scene’s 300 extras as “art.” The scene is based on a real-life act by Oleg Kulik. Despite being seemingly disconnected from the rest of the film, this scene, and this image, brilliantly captures the tone and message of The Square. Image courtesy Magnolia Pictures.

9/10 The Square might just be the most broadly appealing film you’ve never heard of.

In Stockholm, museum curator Christian (Claes Bang) hires a public relations team to build press for a new exhibit called The Square, and chaos ensues. American journalist Anne (Elizabeth Moss) arrives to interview Christian, and the two become sexually involved. After being robbed, Christian tracks his stolen phone to a nearby apartment complex and leaves a threatening message to all of its tenants, and though his phone and wallet are returned, he’s stalked by a small boy whose parents grounded him over the letter. And the PR firm makes waves in the wrong way when it publishes a commercial for The Square in which a homeless child is bombed.

Despite its Palm d’Or victory, vague artsy marketing and minute release that peaked at 63 theaters, The Square is a surprisingly friendly, accessible film. Its comedic patterns have been drawn many times before, but writer/director/editor Ruben Östlund expertly converts on the film’s satire and absurdism.

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I’m not in love with ‘Coco’

Images courtesy Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures.

6/10 I wouldn’t call Coco a misstep or an unwanted hug, but it’s not a very strong film.

In the fictional Santa Cecilia, Mexico, the Riveras are a family of renowned cobblers going all the way back to Mamá Imelda (Alanna Ubach), who took up the practice after being abandoned by her musician husband with their young daughter, Coco (Ana Ofelia Murguía). Imelda swore that no member of her family would ever study or even listen to music. Now dead, her great-great grandson, 12-year-old Miguel (Anthony Gonzalez), dreams of becoming a musician, despite the family tradition. When Miguel discovers that his absentee great-great grandfather may in fact be Ernesto de la Cruz (Benjamin Bratt), the most famous musician in Mexico, he sprints off to the singer’s mausoleum.

With a strum of de la Cruz’ guitar, Miguel is transported to the land of the dead. He must receive his ancestors’ blessing before the end of Día de Muertos or remain there forever, but Imelda will only give it to him on the condition that he forswear music, and none of his other ancestors will go against their matriarch. With the help of Hector (Gael García Bernal), Miguel’s only choice is to seek out and win the blessing of de la Cruz himself.

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‘Justice Leauge’ is one of the worst movies I have ever seen

Images courtesy Warner Bros.

1/10 “You smell good.”

Justice League is one of the most pathetic, bafflingly awful attempts at putting together a film in cinematic history. It is a slapdash mess of stupid editing decisions, poorly thought out plotlines, half-finished special effects and lazy production design. It is utterly, obviously subpar and stinks of multiple parties at various points throwing their hands up and saying, “close enough.” It is antithetical to the possibility film represents as an art form and should never have seen the light of day.

There was a weekend in October in which The Snowman and Geostorm, both hailed as the worst movies of the year, released against each other in the apparent main event of beer league-level films. Having sat through those movies and found something to appreciate about both of them, I tell you unequivocally, no — Justice League is the worst movie of the year, and it’s not especially close. It would be the worst film in 10 years, were it not for the similarly awful Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice, to which it is a sequel, which would in turn be the worst movie in 10 years were it not for the similarly awful Man of Steel, to which it is a sequel.

Spoilers for this anticlimactic, pulseless whimper of a film after the jump.

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Applying Chaos Theory: ‘Justice League’ looks so, so bad

You do tend to start taking excellent special effects for granted these days until you see them done really, really badly. If you want to start appreciating technical achievements, you only need to watch the last Justice League trailer-

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‘Orient Express’ is awf- no, it’s not awful, I just didn’t enjoy it

Seriously, he went outside with this thing on his face. Images courtesy 20th Century Fox.

minus infinity/10 Murder on the Orient Express is a boring, dull, awful movie and I hated every minute of it.

That’s not fair. Let’s start over-

4/10 Murder on the Orient Express is a decent but forgettable movie with a lot of elements that annoy me personally, most of which revolve around producer/director/star Kenneth Branagh.

The movie follows Hercule Poirot (Branagh), a Belgian riff on Sherlock Holmes, through his most famous mystery — Poirot and 13 other people are taking the long train from Istanbul to Paris when one of them, Samuel Ratchett (Johnny Depp), is murdered. Poirot puts all his skills to the test to discover the killer.

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