‘Exorcist’ remake is a mess by design

They stick tightly to the makeup design from the original, which is recognized as strictly Catholic imagery at this point. It really hurts that the film’s aspirations of being secular that its main visual screams “Catholicism.” Images courtesy Universal Pictures.

4/10 Over the past six years, writer/director David Gordon Green produced the OKest, the worst and the best ever sequels to Halloween, a movie with quite a number of sequels. Its simplicity and face-value horror set off the Golden Age of Slashers overnight, dominating horror over the course of the ‘80s and remaining a prominent genre today. Now, the same team has been charged with making sequels to The Exorcist, which also changed cinema overnight and also established an entire genre of ripoffs, though with far different results, and given the wild variety in their track record, I was genuinely excited to see what they’d do with it. 

The Exorcist: Believer is one of the best ever sequels to The Exorcist, and then it sneezes and suddenly becomes one of the worst. It wants to flow naturally from the mundane to the supernatural like the original film does, and it fails. Instead, it is a film split in two between a decent setup that lays the groundwork for several themes and then a crazed, strange climax that doesn’t really follow them up.

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‘The Creator’ a crowing achievement, one of the finest films ever made

Images courtesy 20th Century Studios.

10/10 The Creator is a searing tapestry of emotion, an uncompromising labyrinth of peak action scenes, a scorching hate letter to American imperialism and exploration of the human cost of war measured in screams.

The Republic of New Asia, 2065- In an alternate history Earth where fully functioning artificial intelligence is developed shortly after World War II and 10 years after a rogue program nuked Los Angeles, the U.S. has banned all artificial life forms and wages a brutal war against New Asia, a confederacy of what appears to be all the countries underneath the elbow formed by India and China from Nepal all the way to Vietnam on the coast, which became a haven for the machines. Sgt. Joshua Taylor (John David Washington), on a long-term undercover mission to find Nirmata – Hindi, “the creator” – a mysterious engineer behind recent AI advancements who the machines worship as a creator god, is caught unaware when American forces attack backed up by the USS NOMAD (North American Orbital Mobile Aerospace Defense). The space station, an all-in-one spy satellite and nuclear weapons platform that can seemingly cover the entire war by itself, is a massive blade that hangs ominously in the sky, the Sword of Damocles dangled carelessly over an entire continent.

Another five years later, Nirmata has built a new weapon capable of destroying NOMAD. Taylor, now a dejected veteran cleaning the rubble of Los Angeles, is lured back to New Asia with evidence that his wife, Maya (Gemma Chan), who was also his main subject of surveillance, survived the attack. He discovers the weapon, the first ever AI child called Alpha-O (Madeline Yuna Voyles), capable of controlling technology remotely through what appears to be prayer, whom the machines worship as a messiah. On the run from both the American military and the New Asian police, he shepherds the child across the continent in search of Nirmata.

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Pandemic ‘Haunting’ Poirot, quick step up for mystery series

A slightly wider version of the standard shot for A Haunting in Venice. Images courtesy 20th Century Studios.

8/10 A Haunting in Venice is less a whodunnit and more a chilly, visually driven moodpiece about crisis of faith in the midst of an apocalypse. I don’t engage with films by trying to guess where they’re going, especially not when they’re based on books that are more than 50 years old, so a stylized telling is the only way to make it a rewarding viewing experience.

Venice, Halloween night, 1947- Retired detective Hercule Poirot (Kenneth Branagh, who also directs and produces), retired and secluded, is sought out by an old friend, mystery writer Ariadne Oliver (Tina Fey), for a Halloween party. The hostess, retired opera singer Rowena Drake (Kelly Reilly), has hired purported medium Joyce Reynolds (Michelle Yeoh) to hold a séance so Drake can speak with her recently dead daughter, and Oliver wants to see Poirot expose Reynolds’ routine. Immediately after he does, Reynolds is pushed from the balcony and impaled on a gate. Poirot locks all the other guests in the palazzo to solve the murder.

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Walking into ‘The Nun II’ bored, leaving more bored

This is a genuinely cool haunting moment. I would like more of this in a movie that is actually about these types of things instead of just them just popping up every 20 minutes or so. Images courtesy Warner Bros. Pictures.

2/10 I walk into The Nun II bored with myself and wanting deliberately to take this movie more seriously than it deserves. The idea behind this nun character is that the image is the scary thing, that merely a nun who looks scary is a perverse enough and a strange enough thing to pose questions to a person’s faith. Clearly, this is not a series for people who went to Catholic school. But! Film is a visual medium, the image is the important thing, so in theory, this could be a solid basis for a movie.

That’s as far as this effort is going to go, because “in theory” is the only way The Nun II could be considered a decent movie.

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A sharp upgrade for ‘Equalizer’ series in third outing

Shiny. This is the type of lighting that gives Equalizer 3 its unique bite. Images courtesy Sony Pictures Releasing.

8/10 In The Equalizer 3, Sony pays for Denzel Washington and Antoine Fuqua’s three-month Italian vacation.

OK, that’s my joke – this movie is actually pretty good.

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