‘The Whale’ knows exactly what it’s doing

Fraser: 60% prosthetics, still 100% adorable. Images courtesy A24.

The Whale is a difficult film to watch, not because of its heavy subject matter, but because the movie’s bad. It’s got an unconventional story structure that’s difficult to enter, it’s designed to be unpleasant, and it’s really manipulative and tearjerky while also wearing its stunt casting and effects work proudly on its sleeve. Director/producer Darren Aronofsky has said he made the film with empathy for fat people and pushed back against critics, but the fact is everything in the film is built to exploit America’s unhealthy relationship with food and fear of being obese. It is a movie about a monster with a heart of gold, and you need to agree that Charlie, a 600 pound man, is a monster as an entry point.

In The Whale, Charlie (Brendan Fraser), a writing teacher in late-stage heart failure, secludes himself as his life nears its end. He is beset upon by his daughter Ellie (Sadie Sink), a callous, evil grifter; his loyal in-home nurse Liz (Hong Chau), who is bent on saving him; and a new face in Thomas (Ty Simpkins), who, as a missionary, believes he is bent on saving Charlie, but is actually a callous, evil grifter.

Charlie weighs 600 pounds and is so ashamed of his appearance that he deactivates his camera while he teaches remotely and will not allow his regular pizza delivery driver to lay eyes on him. He uses a walker, which he is shown hoisting his pendulous gut onto, and later a heavy-duty wheelchair, to get around his apartment, in which he has installed worn-out handles in the shower and above the bed. He has $120,000 in the bank from his days at university, but refuses to spend any of it on medical care beyond these mobility aids – Liz works out of loyalty. He also carries around his daughter’s eighth grade essay on “Moby-Dick,” which he frantically pulls out and re-reads in moments he thinks he’s about to die. The title ostensibly comes from this essay, but also happens to be what we called fat girls in middle school – I used to be a teenage boy, I’m sorry.

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Spielberg on Spielberg in autobiography only he could make

Spielberg’s first-hand memories of the technology he was using add another layer of authenticity, and it’s a lot like the rest of the film – there’s factual accuracy, but what’s more important is the realization of this tactile memory. Images courtesy Universal Pictures.

8/10 My first movie was Jurassic Park, the unimpeachable knockout that single-handedly changed the course of American culture and cinematic history by being so terrific. As I sit down for The Fabelmans and gather my cynicism for the tail end of the legendary filmmaker’s career, unjustified as I know he hasn’t lost his touch, I wonder – would I be sitting here if it weren’t for Steven Spielberg?

Jan. 10, 1952, Haddon Township, New Jersey- Mitzi and Burt Fabelman (Michelle Williams and Paul Dano) take their son, Sammy (Gabriel LaBelle and Mateo Zoryon Francis-Deford) to his first movie, Cecil B. DeMille’s The Greatest Show on Earth. Enraptured, Sammy Fabelman immediately becomes a camera and film junkie, spending his childhood and teenage years filming everything he can and diving head-first into ingenious, cheap special effects artistry. Through this lens, he documents his family’s move to Arizona and then California, his parents’ divorce and his high school experience.

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Gayness, cannibalism, ‘Bones and All’

Images courtesy United Artists Releasing.

8/10 I guess it shouldn’t surprise me that the team behind Suspiria is following it up with something described as “the cannibalism movie.”

1988- In Bones and All, an epic romantic cannibal road movie, Maren Yearly (Taylor Russell) is thrown out by her father because her compulsions to eat other people have become too frequent for him to cope with. Yearly drifts on what unfolds into an epic, life-long journey across the U.S., meeting others like her, delving into her own past and learning how to exist in the world.

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‘Strange World’ is the runoff of the bratty, baiting sludge of modern Disney

Didn’t animation used to be really pretty? Like, not that long ago? Images courtesy Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures.

2/10 From Walt Disney Animation Studios, the classic original Disney studio that’s brought you such recent titles as Frozen and Zootopia, comes a brand new adventure, Strange World! Strange World is set in a strange world, where strange things happen. Nobody knows what’s going on, it’s just kind of a strange place. That title really captures it all, doesn’t it? It’s just called Strange World!

In Strange World, legendary explorer Jaeger Clade and his son, Searcher (Dennis Quaid and Jake Gyllenhaal), fall out as they try to penetrate the impassable wall of mountains surrounding their homeland, Avalonia, for the first time – Jaeger wants to push forward, but Searcher wants to turn back with a strange green plant they found that gives off electricity. Twenty-five years later, Searcher’s discovery, Pando, has revolutionized Avalonia’s economy and technology, and he is a wealthy farmer of the crop, but suddenly, the little bulbs begin to lose their power. Aboard the Venture, Searcher and a government team journey into a sinkhole at the shared root of the Pando plants and discover a strange world underneath their own.

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How come I don’t get to see any of those 3D Na’vi titties?

Avatar images courtesy 20th Century Films.

That’s a wrap on 2022 cinema. Oscar nominations are out, and the associated limited releases have mostly wound their way through theaters. I’m still months behind schedule, but who cares. This year’s Christmas smash hit, Avatar: The Way of Water, was finally fallen to no. 3 after seven weekends at the top of the box office, and the daunting questions surrounding its profitability have been answered. The release finally got me to watch the original, and I’ve already splorted out more than 4,000 words on the two of them.

There’s just one sticky question stopping me from turning the page, and it’s a weird question, and I feel weird asking it, but it won’t go away, and the question is this:

How come I don’t get to see any of those 3D Na’vi titties?

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