Tim, what are you doing?

Of all the brazenly Tim Burton things about this movie, Eva Green’s meticulously sculpted hair is probably the standout. That said, she was born to play this aesthetic and it’s great to see her getting work. Like Jackson, she stands head and shoulders above her younger co-stars. Photos courtesy 20th Century Fox.

The buzz about Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children is that it falls apart in the second half, and that’s absolutely not true. It falls apart well before then.

Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children is about Jake Portman (Asa Butterfield), a muggle seemingly normal boy of young adult protagonist age, who’s grandfather, Abe (Terrence Stamp), is mysteriously killed. An investigation leads Jake to Wales, where he discovers a pocket of time containing Hogwarts the titular Miss Peregrine’s, a safehouse for X-men peculiar children run by Alma LeFey Peregrine (Eva Green), a horrible time witch who traps children and dooms them to relive the same day forever and never mature to adulthood. Most of the screentime is dedicated to his awkward, poorly explained love triangle with a floating girl, Emma Bloom (Ella Purnell), and a necromancer, Enoch O’Connor (Finlay MacMillan), but Peregrine also explains that Slenderman a death cult of terrifying monsters with tentacles, elongated limbs and no face lead by Mr. Barron (Samuel L. Jackson) is out to kill everyone and eat their eyes.

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Applying Chaos Theory: Gone Girl 2

Here’s the trailer you’ve all seen for the Emily Blunt thriller The Girl on the Train.

Now, here’s the trailer for 2014’s Gone Girl- 

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Deepwater Horizon brings harrowing blowout to vivid life

Photos courtesy Summit Entertainment.

Deepwater Horizon is a triumph of traditional, fundamentally sound storytelling. It’s proof of the power of film to make any subject matter gripping.

The movie revisits the April 2010 disaster aboard the Deepwater Horizon offshore drilling unit that claimed 11 lives and left a hole in the ocean floor that blasted 210 million gallons of oil into the Gulf of Mexico before finally being plugged 87 days later. The movie follows electronics technician Mike Williams (Mark Wahlberg, who also produces), first as he sees the tension between British Petroleum executive Donald Vidrine (John Malkovich) and rig foreman Jimmy Harrell (Kurt Russell), then as he navigates through the firestorm to try and get survivors out.

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Snowden is an actual good movie

Gordon-Levitt is wonderful, obviously, but this feels kind of like a waste of his time. It’s not in any way a demanding or creative role, and most of his effort goes into imitating the real-life Snowden’s vocal ticks. An actor of his talent level wasn’t called for here. Photos courtesy Open Road Films.

Snowden is a bit of a curve ball. The beginning is just a bit better than awful, but the end is just a bit worse than amazing.

The film details the past 10 years in the life of CIA whistleblower Edward Snowden (Joseph Gordon-Levitt). It frequently cuts back to the Hong Kong hotel room where Snowden gives interviews to Laura Poitras (Melissa Leo), Glenn Greenwald (Zachary Quinto) and Ewen MacAskill (Tom Wilkinson). The scene is re-created from Poitras’ Academy-Award winning documentary Citizenfour, which stayed with Snowden, Greenwald and MacAskill in real-time as they published a Pulitzer-Prize winning series of stories detailing the National Security Agency’s mass domestic surveillance policies.

As Snowden tells the story, the movie shows his public service career with the CIA, but focuses mostly on his relationship with longtime girlfriend Lindsay Mills (Shailene Woodley). Snowden remains in exile in Moscow and the debate about the information he leaked still rages.

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Blair Witch replaces original excitement with convergent blandness

Images courtesy Lionsgate.

Rhiannon Saegert
@missmusetta

Blair Witch takes all the style of The Blair Witch Project and leaves behind all of the substance, resulting in a film just as shaky as the cameras it was shot on.

The film is a direct sequel, following James Donahue (James Allen McCune), whose older sister, Heather, disappeared in the woods near Burkitsville, Md. after the events of the first movie, as he and his friends search the area for any sign of what might have happened to her. His friend Lisa Arlington (Callie Hernandez) decides to film the search for a class project, because that worked out so well the first time.

There is some logic in updating The Blair Witch Project in 2016. As the movie loves to remind its audience, technology has come a long way since 1999. These doomed college students have ear-piece cameras fitted with GPS, walkie-talkies, a remote controlled drone camera and a few other things that are conspicuously unavailable from my own university’s equipment rental room. These are some absurdly well-equipped film students.

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