Tag Archives: #idris elba

‘Dark Tower’ is a collection of garbage boxed and sold as a movie

2/10 Woe unto you, Dark Tower. You did not deserve this. The Dark Tower stars Idris Elba and Matthew McConaughey as the gunslinger and the man in black, respectively. The monikers were used in marketing to disguise that they bear … Continue reading

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Star Trek Beyond — OR What the Fuck is Going On: The Movie

In 2009, they rolled out Star Trek: The Only Reboot You Ever Wanted. In 2012, they brought us Star Trek Into Darkness: Dark Knight Knockoffs Can’t Melt Steel Beams. Now, from an entirely new writing and directing team after Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman broke … Continue reading

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Beautiful Jungle Book movie can’t handle its meaty themes

The Jungle Book follows Mowgli, a man-cub raised by the ruling pack of the jungle. But when Shere Khan, a giant antagonist cat with a scarred left eye, discovers his presence, Mowgli is driven away. After a scene involving a stampede … Continue reading

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All I hear is politics inside my brain, someone help me!

At the end of Zootopia, the diversity hire cop turns to the camera and tells the audience that profiling and racism are bad, and we need to work together to eliminate them from our society. At the end of London Has Fallen, the black … Continue reading

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Beasts of no theater

It’s Halloween weekend. There’s nothing new releasing, as studios are afraid of competition during their highest-leverage time slots — and no, Bradley Cooper and Sandra Bullock Oscarbating don’t count. With no reason to go to a theater, you sit at … Continue reading

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