The Möbius Strip: ‘Kingsman,’ ‘The Princess Bride’ turns 30, Austin film scene implodes

As expected, Kingsman: The Golden Circle easily took the top spot last weekend with $39 million. Other new releases The LEGO Ninjago Movie and Friend Request disappointed, one much more severely than the other- Box Office Mojo

Sliding to no. 2, It overtook The Exorcist to become the highest-grossing R rated horror film of all time last week- Variety

Riding the spike It is creating in Stephen King’s popularity, Netflix will release two critically acclaimed King adaptations Gerald’s Game and 1922 later this year- Indiewire

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‘Kingsman’ is a cacophony

While most movies show off their plot details and hide spoilers, the advertisement campaign for Kingsman: The Golden Circle shared almost no plot details, instead actively focusing on which characters die and which come back to life. Images courtesy 20th Century Fox.

4/10 Man, and I thought mother! was excessive.

Kingsman: The Golden Circle feels like it was based on the make-believe session of a 5-year-old who watched too many Brosnan-era James Bond movies. It starts with the international spy organization, the Kingsman, being wiped out by international drug kingpin Poppy Adams (Julianne Moore) with the help of a detachable remote-controlled bionic arm. Surviving Kingsmen Eggsy Unwin (Taron Edgerton) and Merlin (Mark Strong) discover a sister organization in the U.S., the Statesman, full of agents code-named after alcoholic beverages. The previous film’s agent Galahad, Harry Hart (Colin Firth) is still alive and pursuing his passion of lepidoptery, there’s a vagina-based tracking device and before you know it, Sir Elton John (himself) is fighting robot dogs.

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The strange, inconclusive summer of 2017

Despicable Me 3. Image courtesy Universal Pictures.

Yeah, I know Labor Day was two weeks ago, fuck off

It’s been a summer of transition at the movies. Transition to what? Who knows. There are several narratives to spin based on the number of movies that were released this year that you wouldn’t expect in a summer lineup, but the numbers don’t really bear any of them out.

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Aronofsky fever dream aims to be ‘mother!’ of all biblical adaptations

As ancient as most of the subject matter is, mother! also has a lot to say about femininity in a modern context. The lead spends most of the movie ignored and disrespected, either by disrespecting her home or unabashed confrontation. Images courtesy Paramount Pictures.

8/10 Writer/director Darren Aronofsky has made a horror movie about inconsiderate house guests, and it is one of the most gripping, audacious things I have seen in my entire life.

A woman, known in the script only as mother (Jennifer Lawrence), lives in an idyllic, isolated mansion with her husband (Javier Bardem). The mother built their house herself and spends her days perfecting it while her other half, a famous poet, stares at his desk in an eons-long bout of writer’s block. One day, a stranger (Ed Harris) comes to the door saying he thought they were a bed and breakfast, and against mother’s wishes, the poet invites him to stay the night. The next morning, his fiendish wife (Michelle Pfeiffer) unexpectedly arrives as well. The duo becomes an ocean of unruly house guests as they surreally act out the Bible.

In its most basic elements, mother! is a master class in building and toying with tension. The camera is hyper-focused on the mother character, with barely a shot that she isn’t in or isn’t explicitly from her point of view. Despite her almost constant presence on screen, the camera is so close to her that it’s rare to see above her hairline or below her collarbone — and the wide shots that show her feet are outright jarring.

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‘It’ is boring, racist, sexualizes minors and has a 90 percent on Rotten Tomatoes

You know who Skarsgård’s Pennywise really reminds me of? The Grinch from that awful 2000 Jim Carey movie. It looks like what happened was they didn’t want to go with something similar to Tim Curry’s assured but subdued performance, so they hired the guy who would hop around as energetically as possible. It’s not Skarsgård’s fault at all, it’s just a lack of creativity from the top down. Images courtesy Warner Bros. Pictures.

2/10 The titular monster in It comes out of the sewer every 30 years to feed, so remaking the movie — yeah, I know the 1990 version was a “made for TV miniseries,” eat me — makes a ton of sense. Given the 1,100 page novel’s massive scope and breadth of themes and 30 years of technological advancement, you can create a very different movie while remaining uniquely true to the original novel and previous adaptations.

There’s just one problem: modern horror can really suck sometimes.

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