OCFF 2023: Friday night highlights

The festival highlight is Quantum Cowboys tonight at 7, followed by A24 property Problemista. It’s a good thing I needed to put in an extra hour of work yesterday, because if I weren’t able to take off an hour early today, I probably wouldn’t make that curtain. Part of the reason I moved to Dallas was to be closer to the Texas Theatre – I was going out in Oak Cliff as often as I was in Denton at that point, but 40 miles and 20 miles are the same distance if you’re trying to cross them at rush hour in Dallas. If I’m going to Oak Cliff, I still need to plan out a full day to make the trip worthwhile, and unless I fully move down there, I still need a machete to make a 7 p.m. Friday night curtain.

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OCFF 2023: Almost skipping opening night

I’m planning on film festival coverage becoming a big part of what I do here, but it’s a few years down the line. I want to finish expanding my languages and see Europe first, but I’m still going to be accruing cash and vacation time once I’ve seen the places I want to see, and this is the obvious way to spend those things.

My focus is on the U.S. box office, so I want to stick to major international festivals with entrants that are actually likely to get distribution deals and be seen, but especially now when I don’t really know how to do it, it’s weird that I’ve been inclined to ignore the biggest festival in my Dallas backyard, the Oak Cliff Film Festival put on every June in my favorite place in the world, the Texas Theatre.

What else is out this weekend, anyway? You really think I’m writing about No Hard Feelings? Fuck you!

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Failing to make sense of the photorealistic ‘Little Mermaid’ adaptation

Going through images for this post, it’s easy to notice how little the bright, sunny blues of the promotional material have in common with the actual movie, which mostly looks like this, barely visible, sparsely decorated and sad-looking. Ariel looks like she’s imagining she’s in a brighter movie surrounded by ocean murk. Images courtesy Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures.

The Sea of Siciliy- Ariel (Halle Bailey) is a teenage trans mermaid who needs bottom surgery so she can go to the surface and catch some dick. Her father, King Triton (Javier Bardem), could transform her into a human at any moment, but he thinks it’s too dangerous, so she seeks help from the local drag queen, Ursula (Melissa McCarthy). The sea witch makes Ariel a Faustian bargain that gets her into much more trouble than if her father had just been supportive.

The Little Mermaid is a quietly powerful story about not only self-determination, but internal and external identity. When Ariel trades her voice for the ability to pursue Prince Eric (Jonah Hauer-King), she is unknowingly loaning out the only thing he will recognize her by, the only thing about her that he even remembers. What aspects of yourself can you give up before you aren’t you anymore? How much do the people who care about you value the things that you might change?

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Fast X: one more ride before it finally dies

I’m not a cartoon tree, I’m Captain America! Images courtesy Universal Pictures.

2/10 That’s it. I’m tired. I’m done trying to search for the best in these movies. They’ve made a tenth Fast/Furious movie, and it sucks.

Los Angeles- 10 years after that notorious vault scene in Fast Five, Dante Reyes (Jason Momoa) is inserted as an extra into the scene – he’s driving the car that whips out a minigun at the tail end there, that was Jason Momoa all along. He’s the son of Hernan Reyes, the drug lord they were ripping off in that scene, and after spending a decade masturbating I guess, he’s back for revenge!

Dante Reyes wants to make Dom Toretto (Vin Diesel, who also produces) suffer by threatening his friends, whom Toretto is known for ostentatiously asserting as “family,” and also his actual family, he does have a wife and child and they are in danger.

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Charlie makes his mark in ‘Fool’s Paradise’

Ken Jeong is putting in just as much clownwork as Charlie playing Lenny the publicist, a listless promoter from a small Canadian town who screams at every possible moment that he’s “a somebody,” crying out the principal dream of Hollywood that the fool isn’t capable of having. Image courtesy Roadside Attractions.

8/10 It’s strange to be reminded how niche “Always Sunny” still is.

Los Angeles- Legendary English actor Sir Tom Bingsley (Charlie Day, who also writes and directs), currently starring in a Billy the Kid biopic, won’t leave his trailer. The fed-up producer (Ray Liotta) drives past a homeless person, referred to in the script as the fool (also Charlie), who is a dead ringer for Bingsley, and uses him to complete production. Despite being apparently mute and described by doctors as “having the mind of a Labrador retriever” who knows how to do nothing but confusedly imitate the people around him, the fool is propelled to Hollywood stardom and eventually a mayoral run.

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