Witch Hunter a half-baked mess

The Last Witch Hunter is a lot like a burnt steak — most people could turn quality raw materials into a tasty treat, but the chef it was given to has ruined it.

Dialogue from the romance subplot stands out in a good way, and contributes a lot to viewers learning about the world of The Last Witch Hunter. Chloe is initially terrified of Kaulder, having been raised on the stories of the witch hunter who would find and punish bad witches, but finds him to be as compassionate as he is dangerous. Photos courtesy Summit Entertainment.

In this case, the raw materials are solid lead actors and a great story. The movie follows Kaulder (Vin Diesel), an 800 year old witch hunter who was cursed with immortality while slaying the witch queen (Julie Englebrecht) in the Dark Ages. His handler, the 36th Dolan (Michael Caine), one of a long line, retires early in the film, but is murdered in his office soon after. Kaulder begins to hunt down the witch responsible, and after finding the newly sworn 37th Dolan (Elijah Wood) to be little help, he is thrust together with a young dream-manipulating witch, Chloe (Rose Leslie).

The first thing to notice about this movie is how fundamentally bad it is. In its first scene, The Last Witch Hunter makes Fellowship of the Ring’s key mistake, opening with a long, high-fantasy prologue that’s going to be gone through again in detail later and should have been saved in full for that time. This movie would have been so much better with a cold open of Kaulder doing his thing in the 2000s, and then when he’s told to re-visit the day he was cursed, it’s a painful memory he hasn’t thought about in a long time — and neither have the viewers, because it wasn’t shoved down our throats immediately on entering the theater. Then the whole thing would have much more emotional impact as we actually learn something new about the character.

Continue reading

Posted in Entropy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Möbius strip: Back to the top of the charts

After 15 years, Back to the Future won the box office again last night, if only for that one night- The Hollywood Reporter

The earliest reviews are in for next month’s Spectre, and people are saying it’s much like Skyfall, for better or worse- Slash Film

Ever want to work with Maggie Gyllenhaal? Now’s your chance- Indiewire

Continue reading

Posted in The Möbius strip | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Steve Jobs a stunning, electrifying portrait of… someone

Sorkin said recently that he didn’t want this biopic to be called a biopic. It almost seems like he got started on a Steve Jobs biography and then started adding things and kind of lost track of the assignment. The result is absolutely fantastic, though. Photos courtesy Universal Pictures.

This is the second Steve Jobs biopic in three years, but it will definitely be the last one. No one in their right mind would try to follow this movie.

Steve Jobs tells the incredible true sto- I’m sorry, I can’t even type that with a straight face.

The film condenses all the major relationships in the entrepreneur’s life into three frantic sequences just before the launches of the Macintosh in 1984, NeXT in 1988 and the iMac in 1998. Jobs (Michael Fassbender) bickers with marketing executive Joanna Hoffman (Kate Winslet), condescends to Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak (Seth Rogen) and team member Andy Hertzfeld (Michael Stuhlbarg), rages against Apple CEO and apparent father figure John Sculley (Jeff Daniels) and comes to grips with his own daughter, Lisa Brennan (Makenzie Moss, Ripley Sobo and Perla Haney-Jardine at ages 5, 9 and 19, respectively) before each of the launches.

Continue reading

Posted in Entropy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

The Möbius strip: Marty McFly endorses Reel Entropy

back-to-the-future-part-ii-original

In case you haven’t heard enough about Back to the Future, here’s the story of the franchise from the people who put it together- Empire

With many hoping for a Sanders vs. Trump election so they can make Doc Brown vs. Biff jokes, Back to the Future writer Bob Gale confirms that the bully was based on Trump all along- The Wrap

Continue reading

Posted in The Möbius strip | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Applying chaos theory: We need to talk about how good the new Star Wars movie looks

Is that the Millenium Falcon engulfed in flames? Literally the only way to make the Millenium Falcon any cooler would be to engulf it in flames, and it looks like they engulfed it in flames.

Sorry…

This is the new Star Wars: The Force Awakens trailer that rightfully shattered the Internet last night. Now quantifiably the most anticipated movie in the Internet era by an absolutely staggering margin, it’s time to break down what makes this trailer, and every other bit of media released from this production, so tantalizing.

Continue reading

Posted in Applying Chaos Theory | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment