Spoiler alert — ‘The Last Jedi’ isn’t very good

Images courtesy Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures.

4/10 Star Wars: The Last Jedi is a colossal technical failure. It is a clear-cut case of “good story poorly told,” and that’s very painful because there are far more good ideas here than bad ones. Poor editing, which arises from trying to fit in a ridiculous, go-nowhere B  plot, completely ruins the movie.

Under the smarmy, charlatan shroud that executive producer J.J. Abrams places on all his projects, even basic plot details are spoilers, but storyboarding is a major problem with The Last Jedi, so we do need to get into it to do this properly. Spoilers below.

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‘Three Billboards’ a stellar awards frontrunner

Image courtesy Fox Searchlight Pictures.

10/10 Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri is an acerbic, heartfelt masterpiece from a playwright who seems like he can’t stop producing them.

Eight months before the film’s start, Angela Hayes (Kathryn Newton) is immolated and raped. Tired of hearing nothing on the case, her mother Mildred (Frances McDormand) rents out three billboards on an unused road describing the crime and singling out sheriff Bill Willoughby (Woody Harrelson) for having not produced even an arrest. Willoughby, for his part, had done his best with a stone-cold crime — there were no witnesses or DNA matches to go on. Willoughby is a broadly respected figure in the town of Ebbing, and Mildred Hayes faces social, legal and violent backlash from every angle, especially officer Jason Dixon (Sam Rockwell).

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‘Last Flag Flying’ thoughtful, may be quite moving

Steve Carell will always be remembered as the oafish boss from The Office, and that’s criminal. He’s completely magnetic in these quiet, repressed roles. In Last Flag Flying, he’s aided by his character getting the Good Angel, Bad Angel treatment in the form of Fishburne and Cranston’s characters. Image courtesy Amazon Studios.

8/10 In 2003, the Bush administration, political pundits and the constant fear of terrorism, which still had that new-car smell, created an atmosphere in which supporting soldiers and supporting the recent invasion of Iraq were one and the same, and god damn any American who didn’t.

In the 2017 film Last Flag Flying, set in December of that year, three veterans still scarred by their experience in Vietnam lambaste the government for sending a new generation of soldiers to die in what they see as another unnecessary proxy war.

Doc Shepherd (Steve Carell) has lost his son in the Iraq invasion. He seeks out his closest friends from his time overseas 30 years prior, two-bit bar owner Sal Nealon (Bryan Cranston) and reformed minister Richard Mueller (Laurence Fishburne), the only human connections he has left. Having served in America’s first unpopular war and burying a casualty of its second, Shepherd is outraged and refuses to allow the military to have his son in death — not to bury him a hero, not even to help pay for his funeral. He, Nealon and Mueller go to Arlington to collect the body and bring it home to suburban New Hampshire.

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‘Lady Bird’ just as likeable as you’ve heard

Arm? What fucking arm? Image courtesy A24.

7/10 Lady Bird was at one point the best reviewed movie in Rotten Tomatoes history, and that’s a badge it can wear without deceit. This is without a doubt one of the most universally likeable, inoffensive movies, one of the safest bets for everyone to have a good time in the theater, ever made.

Christine McPherson (Saoirse Ronan) is in her senior year of a Sacramento Catholic high school. McPherson is the kind of above-it-all disconnected from her class that even though she insists on being called “Lady Bird,” she genuinely hadn’t noticed that her school has a drama club. The film follows her through the year, focusing on her ill-advised lovers, her internalized classism and her suffocating relationship with her mother, Marion (Laurie Metcalf).

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‘Sacred Deer’ a step down, but still Yorgos

Images courtesy A24.

8/10 The Killing of a Sacred Deer is one of those mysteries that’s coy about major plot elements, so consider this entire review marked for mild spoilers

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Martin (Barry Keoghan), high school student aspiring to become a medical professional, has struck up a mentor relationship with skilled heart surgeon Steven Murphy (Colin Farrell). Though Martin’s father is initially stated to have died instantly in a car accident 10 years earlier, it’s later revealed that he made it to the hospital and died on Murphy’s operating table. As revenge, Martin tells Murphy that his wife and children will first be paralyzed from the waist down, then refuse to eat, then hemorrhage from the eyes and then finally die. Martin tells him the only way to break this curse is to choose and kill one of his afflicted family members and destroy his own family the way he destroyed Martin’s.

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