‘Mortal Kombat’ finally accepted as official first good video game movie

Mortal Kombat delights in iconic moves from the game, such as Sub Zero’s blood dagger. Images courtesy Warner Bros. Pictures.

6/10 It’s been said too often by too many people that there has never been a good cinematic video game adaptation – too often and by too many people because that isn’t true. There are plenty of perfectly enjoyable video game movies. Max Payne is a personal favorite, Silent Hill, Resident Evil and Tomb Raider are at least good enough to be thought of as movie franchises now, and Detective Pikachu and Rampage have delighted in recent years.

Much of this impression is rooted in the mid-90s, when the first generation of arcade rats were coming into adulthood and movies were first being made to cater to them, and New Line Cinema released Mortal Kombat and Mortal Kombat: Annihilation, two of the most reviled movies ever made. The crowd of people who prefer video games to movies anyway took these low-quality offerings as a personal slight, and they haven’t stopped complaining about it for a quarter century.

Now it’s 2021, and with New Line Cinema still in charge, though it’s owned by Warner Bros. now, and the third Mortal Kombat movie, which was conceived as a sequel but took so long to get off the ground they reworked it as its own franchise starter, has finally hit theater and computer screens, and it’s a blast.

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‘Voyagers’ a lusty ode to lust itself, too concerned with source material

Images courtesy Lionsgate.

9/10 Voyagers is a spectacular exercise in film editing and set design, a wonderful tribute to the rage of puberty and a slightly overcommitted tribute to William Golding’s classic Lord of the Flies, which ends up being its main downfall.

Aboard the Humanitas, late 21st century- The Humanitas hurtles through space on an 86-year multigenerational mission to colonize the first habitable planet humanity has discovered. Its crew, who appear to be in their early 20s, have been genetically engineered specifically for the voyage and raised in isolation so they will not miss home during a journey only their grandchildren were meant to see the end of. The only crewmate who was not bred for the mission is Richard Alling (Colin Farrell), who raised the children and joined the mission to help them see it through, knowing he would die onboard.

Chris and Zac (Tye Sheridan and Fionn Whitehead) discover that the blue medication they are given every day is a drug meant to kill their sex drive and dampen their pleasure response, and they stop taking it. The two and their followers go through what is essentially a compound puberty, gaining an early-20s sex drive in a flash, but also exploring non-sexual ways to stimulate themselves for the first time. Chaos reigns onboard.

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Clever, thoughtful ‘Unholy’ thrills

There’s a large 3D element to the jumps, with Elnor frequently attacking the camera directly. Images courtesy Sony Pictures Releasing.

8/10 The Unholy is trash, but it lays its aesthetics on thick, the cast is game and the story is deceptively rich.

Banfield, Massachusetts, December- Corrupt, disgraced journalist Gerry Fenn (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) drives from Boston into the boonies for a story about cow tipping, or whatever. While he’s there, Alice (Cricket Brown), the priest’s niece who has been completely deaf from birth, has a vision of the Virgin Mary and is suddenly able to hear, speak and even sing in perfect English and can even heal the sick under her own power. Fenn develops a bond with the girl and revives his career telling her story, but he begins to realize that her ascension is not an “according to Hoyle” miracle and is instead the work of something unholy.

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After three movies and an hour and a half, ‘Godzilla vs. Kong’ delivers

Awesome. Images courtesy Warner Bros.

8/10 Godzilla vs. Kong ends with a 20-minute sequence of Godzilla and King Kong beating the absolute tar out of each other, and that’s awesome. I mean, that part absolutely rules. But that’s 20 minutes out of 113, and that’s the issue with this entire strain of Godzilla movies – the human plotlines are still a majority of the film, and they are still awkward problems.  

Five years after Godzilla destroyed Boston in his battle with King Ghidorah, he suddenly and inexplicably assaults Apex Cybernetics’ facility in Pensacola, Florida. Fearing the leviathan will begin a reign of terror, cartographer Nathan Lind (Alexander Skarsgård), who believes that Godzilla and all the other titans come from a hollow in the center of the planet, leads a team to collect Kong and have him guide them into the hollow so they may harness Godzilla’s power source. Meanwhile, Madison Russell (Millie Bobby Brown), certain that Godzilla does not act randomly, hooks up with a whacko conspiracy podcaster to investigate Apex.

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‘Nobody’ gets to be derivative, doesn’t get to be substandard

Exhibit A- we never actually get to see Mansell use this machine pistol in a real, non-montage combat scene. All we get to see him do is reload it cool and slow-like. Images courtesy Universal Pictures.

5/10 Nobody doesn’t meet me halfway.

In a world that seemingly has no weekends, Hutch Mansell (Bob Odenkirk, who also produces) grinds out a living in a cushy management position at his father-in-law’s manufacturing plant. When his family is robbed one night, Mansell, a former special forces operative codenamed “Nobody,” decides to not slaughter the robbers as he easily could, losing the respect of his family and in-laws. When he realizes they accidentally took his daughter’s kitty-cat bracelet instead of just cash, Mansell tracks the robbers down and still doesn’t really hurt them, but then on the bus home, he encounters a gaggle of Russians who tell everyone to clear out so they can gang rape another passenger, and then and only then does Mansell let loose.

Little does Mansell know that one of the would-be rapists is the younger brother of Yulian Kuznetsov (Aleksei Serebryakov), an elite enforcer for the local bratva, who comes after Mansell and his family with everything he has. 

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