Images courtesy Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures and Sony Pictures Releasing. And yes, I know the sizing is off but I seriously don’t care.
In an era of long-awaited sequels, remakes and “soft reboots” that roll into theaters decades after their corresponding media, Disney’s and Sony’s Maleficent: Mistress of Evil and Zombieland: Double Tap were the least long-awaited, releasing five and 10 years after their originals, respectively. These movies were dropped on Oct. 18, just before the annual box office slowdown around Halloween.
3/10 Maleficent: Mistress of Evil picks up a few years after Maleficent left off. Princess Aurora (Elle Fanning), who has become the standing queen of the Moors and goddaughter to Maleficent (Angelina Jolie, who also produces), is proposed to by Prince Phillip (Harris Dickinson), who is played by a different actor and hails from a different kingdom than Maleficent’s Prince Phillip, but is firmly implied to be the same character. Maleficent, who is feared by the people of Ulstead, is invited to a state dinner to celebrate the proposal, where Phillip’s wicked mother, Queen Ingrith (Michelle Pfeiffer), implies that she will be a better mother figure to Aurora and wow, I don’t care. Holy crap, I do not care about this.
4/10 Zombieland: Double Tap picks up a few years after Zombieland left off. The original film’s family unit of nameless nomads, Tallahassee, Columbus, Wichita and Little Rock (Woody Harrelson, Jesse Eisenberg, Emma Stone and Abigail Breslin) have taken up residence in the White House, finally having a place to stay long-term. Columbus proposes to Wichita, which freaks her out, and Tallahassee’s paternal bond has worn on Little Rock, so the sisters set out to – man, I just really don’t care. I can’t even begin to force myself to be interested in this.
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