‘Spider-Man: Homecoming’ is a blast to watch and a blast to think about

As many complaints as I have about Spider-Man: Homecoming’s spoiler-filled marketing strategy, this poster superbly establishes the movie’s tone and character arc in a single image. Images courtesy Columbia Pictures.

9/10 Spider-Man: Homecoming is not the best Spider-Man movie, that’s still Spider-Man 2 and it’s always going to be Spider-Man 2. Homecoming may be the new favorite, however.

After a thrilling debut in Captain America: Civil War, Peter Parker (Tom Holland) has fallen into a months-long stretch of boredom fighting petty crimes as he waits for another call from Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.), who seems to have never taken him seriously. Parker finds his own trouble when he discovers a ring of robbers and gun dealers who work with dangerous technology salvaged from the Chitauri invasion in The Avengers. Among his new foes’ arsenal is a fearsome steampunk flight suit designed for their leader, Adrian Toomes (Michael Keaton).

Made under intense pressure on two stuidos, Spider-Man: Homecoming is a flawless diamond of a movie. Its scenes are magnetic and well-planned, all the characters pop despite some of them being heavily re-imagined, and most importantly, all of its emotional ups and downs land. The jokes, mostly at Parker’s expense, hit home, and Toomes is outright scary as a blue collar gang leader. Most of the surface-level stuff in the movie works really well.

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Coppola’s Cannes favorite ‘The Beguiled’ is impeccable

Image courtesy Focus Features.

8/10 The Beguiled is a sophisticated, confidently made film about sexual power dynamics. It’s one of the best movies in theaters, and just about everyone should take the time to see it.

In Civil War Virginia, Amy (Oona Laurence) stumbles upon James McBurney (Colin Farrell), an Irish mercenary fighting for the Union who has been shot in the leg. Not willing to let him bleed out, Amy takes him back to the girl’s school where she and her classmates hide from the war. Headmistress Martha Farnsworth (Nicole Kidman), teacher Edwina Morrow (Kirsten Dunst) and postpubescent student Alicia (Elle Fanning), none of whom have seen a man in months, immediately take notice, and McBurney notices their noticing. Tension between the ladies’ propriety and lust mounts and boils over.

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In defense of the ‘Despicable Me’ series

Images courtesy Universal Pictures.

7/10 Despicable Me 3 isn’t a movie, it’s a commercial, but it serves the function of a movie quite well.

The movie starts with Felonious Gru (Steve Carell) and his wife, Lucy Wilde (Kristen Wiig), losing their jobs at the Anti-Villain League after Gru lets wanted villain Balthazar Bratt (Trey Parker) get away. Gru then learns of and reunites with his twin brother, Dru (Carell). In a B plot, Wilde tries to bond with her new step-daughters. In a C plot, the minions lead a revolt against Gru and end up in prison, which they run with caution tape-yellow iron fists.

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‘Baby Driver’ is not where it needs to be

Images courtesy TriStar Pictures.

6/10 Baby Driver is a movie trying to cartwheel down a well-trodden path, telling a story you’ve heard a dozen times with undeniable style. Unfortunately, that cartwheel is, well, about a six out of 10.

The film follows Baby (Ansel Elgort) — get it? Because it’s about a driver named Baby, and the movie is titled Baby Driver! It’s a pun! Get it? — a getaway driver and ’50s pop music enthusiast who owes millions of dollars to Doc (Kevin Spacey). Baby squares his debt and strikes up a relationship with local waitress Debbie (Lily James), but Doc won’t let him leave the increasingly violent gang. Baby eventually has to shoot his way out.

Basically every part of Baby Driver needs to be at least a little bit better. It’s is kind of boring, and it really shouldn’t be. Writer/director Edgar Wright was clearly going for kind of a Drive-meets-’50s-Guardians of the Galaxy vibe, and he misses the mark for several reasons.

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Bayhem!

Images courtesy Paramount Pictures.

1/10 Baydlem!

PandeBayneum!

Star Wars: The Last Jedi Transformers: The Last Knight is the crowning achievement of one of history’s worst filmmakers. It’s filled with the most sound and fury, it signifies the least. It is a critical mass of Bay.

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