Scatological arthouse satire skippable

Another way the film seems to exist only for its yacht leg is every scene in the marketing was set on the yacht, at least in America, so you’re not aware there’s any other setting going in. Images courtesy Neon.

6/10 After his electric black satire The Square took the top prize at the Cannes Film Festival in 2017, lord of shapes Ruben Östlund has won the Palm d’Orr again with Triangle of Sadness, only the third director in history to win the award twice. His new effort doesn’t make nearly as solid a connection.  

Triangle of Sadness is a tedious and obvious satire about apathy toward the impending ecological collapse. It is, appropriately, divided into three parts. In the first, model and influencer Yaya (Charlbi Dean), who makes significantly more than her peer and boyfriend Carl (Harris Dickinson), psychologically abuses him with gender and power dynamics. In the second, they go on an exclusive luxury cruise, free to them in exchange for social media promotion, but populated mostly by old money arms dealers. In the third, they are among a group of survivors on a deserted island. Abigail (Dolly de Leon), the only crew member with necessary survival skills, takes command and begins sexually abusing Carl.

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Chaotic, unwatchable ‘Black Adam’ finally launches onto screen, already burned out behind it

Images courtesy Warner Bros. Pictures.

1/10 I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to leave a theater more than I wanted to leave my screening of Black Adam. Within 20 minutes, I was fighting the urge to shout “Stop! Please, just stop!” at the screen. Producer/star Dwayne Johnson said he made this film for fans, not critics, but that’s not true – this movie wasn’t made for human beings.

Kahndaq- Teth-Adam (Johnson), the ancient champion of Kahndaq, has been unearthed after 4,600 years. Met with gunfire, Adam strikes back at the criminal organizations that rule his Middle Eastern kingdom, taking over the joint in a matter of days. The Justice Society – whoever Amanda Waller (Viola Davis) could get on the phone this time – arrives to try to adjust his might-makes-right attitude, but discover the hierarchy of power in the DC universe has changed forever.

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I love Art the clown, ‘Terrifier 2’ is old-school movie magic

Don’t judge me! This is art! Images courtesy Bloody Disgusting.

10/10 Terrifier 2 is like a two-hour video nasty, a loving Giallo film all the way down to being created by a guy named Damien Leone. It’s like whipped cream on film, light, airy, not a ton of substance, but pretty and very flavorful. This movie literally makes me forget my troubles, I love it so much.

Miles County, Halloween night- It’s a year to the day after the Miles County Massacre, in which a murderous demonic mime known as Art the clown (David Howard Thornton) eviscerated about a dozen people and then disappeared from the scene. The town is abuzz with morbid obsession, but they don’t know that everything is happening exactly as it did before – Art is enraged by reports of his demise and excited to go killing again, but this time, he’ll face a tougher test. A young woman called Sienna Shaw (Lauren LaVera) has seen him in her dreams, and it’s intimated that she is destined to kill him.

Why the need for Terrifier 2? Because it’s so much fun, Jan!

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‘Halloween’s’ bizarre, thoughtful, sweet End

Images courtesy Universal Pictures.

8/10 In the entire lexicon of ill-advised Halloween sequels, Halloween Ends is certainly the best love story.

Even a basic discussion of Halloween Ends spoils it because the entire movie is the twist, so if I can only say one thing, it’s this: I’ve never been more shocked by a Halloween movie. Spoilers below-

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I’m sorry, Billy. You did real good.

Just a couple of guys being dudes. Images courtesy Universal Pictures.

8/10 I waited until the middle of the week to see Bros when it released in September to $4.8 million, a pitiful opening below even Universal’s extremely conservative expectations, and by that time I was sitting down, writer/star Billy Eichner had already called to tell me that it was my personal fault his film did so poorly. It sort of added an obligation to collect it as I reach back now, so for anyone still interested, it’s really good!

Manhattan, pre-pandemic- Bobby Lieber (Eichner), host of the prominent podcast “The Eleventh Brick at Stonewall” and curator for the in-progress National LGBTQ+ History Museum, strikes up a tentative new relationship with local estate lawyer Aaron Shepard (Luke Macfarlane). Somewhat-together, the pair navigate expectations of the public, both the queer community and the more hostile public at large, and their own desires. 

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